What is procrastination?
Procrastination is the action of putting things off. It can be a work project, paying bills, going to the doctor’s office. It can also be something big like resolving anxiety or losing weight. Any task that would be good to complete yet many of us tend to put those tasks off and sometimes never complete them.
As a therapist I find that procrastination is a common theme with clients and something that they all wish to change. There is a correlation between procrastination and mental health symptoms and it is hard to know which was first – the symptoms associated with anxiety or depression or putting things off which can lead to feeling anxious or depressed. Another concern is impulse control. The more impulsive a person behaves the more likely that they will put off tasks that don’t appeal to the person at the moment.
The good news is that procrastination is something that you can overcome. The common themes that I have noticed in my practice for procrastination include: lack of confidence or other self-limiting thoughts, “people pleaser” who overbook themselves, perfectionists or those that get easily distracted and act on the distractions.
Lack of Confidence
Confidence is an evaluation process in which we look at our skills in general or in particular and decide if we have a passing grade, in other words, we decide if we are competent at a skill or overall. This self-evaluation process is most accurate when we are objective but often we are critical of ourselves and then ignore some data or exaggerate others.
For example, Emily was encouraged to rejoin a local singing group but she said that she wasn’t any good. When in fact, everyone who heard her sing was impressed, she sang in the church choir as a young girl, sang the national anthem in high school. She starred in a high school musical and her parents and friends were sad that she didn’t pursue her singing talent after graduation. When someone reminds her of all her accomplishments, she answers that they are just being kind because she knows that she isn’t that good. She remembers that 6th grade music teacher who criticized her singing.
This is a case where her self-evaluation process is inaccurate. She isn’t seeing the actual skills and therefore is mistaken about her competence and will lack confidence. Then she over-emphasized the teacher’s criticism. Those who aren’t accurate in the evaluation may put things off because they often think that the skills or traits to complete the task are lacking.
Self-Limiting Beliefs
There are a host of self-limiting beliefs that can result in putting things off. The anxious thoughts of “what if’s” often derail a person in completing tasks. What if I try and fail? What if I can’t do this? What if I do this wrong and am judged for it? What if I do it right but then everyone will expect me to get it right every time?
Other self-limiting beliefs can be of the hopeless or depressive thinking variety. Why bother? It won’t matter? It’s too late. No one cares if I do this. Nothing I do matters anyway so why bother? Other doom and gloom self-limiting thoughts are along the lines of: I’m no good, worthless, too stupid, etc.
It is hard to imagine if someone has one or several of these thoughts that they would be able to get tasks done. They may be paralyzed with fear or numb with hopelessness. When they put something off, they are flooded with relief and chemically rewarded for the procrastination. At least in the short term until the fear about the task not getting done comes back. And with it the return of guilt thoughts about not completing something that is important to do.
The cycle of putting off, getting a sense of relief followed with guilt thoughts actually perpetuates procrastination in a seemingly never ending problem.
People Pleasing
People pleasers don’t often put off things but can become so overbooked that they cannot get things done. They may procrastinate tasks that benefit them while ensuring that they complete the tasks for others. Sometimes they try to get everything done and may report feeling stressed, overwhelmed, resentful. These folks may prioritize the tasks to do based on time or the person asking for the favor and then put off other tasks. Often they feel guilty about saying no even when it would make sense to do so. People pleasers may often avoid people or situations to prevent having to face a decision and the associated guilt thoughts and feelings.
Perfectionists
People who believe that they must get everything perfect will often procrastinate new tasks or unknown tasks. The problem for those who believe that they must do things perfectly is that it isn’t a long term possibility. Sometimes we can get something perfect for a very short time, but it isn’t possible to maintain perfection. Also the first time we do something it isn’t likely that it will be perfect.
Recently I decided that I wanted to learn how to make my own Castile Soap. The first time was a total failure due to inconsistent heat. The second time was going well until again I couldn’t get the heat modulated. I’m sure that one of my attempts will result in usable Castile Soap from practice or seeking guidance. Now if I believed that I had to be perfect, it is likely that I wouldn’t have tried to make soap because of the learning curve and chances of not being successful even though it is something that I want to learn.
Impulse Control
Some people tend to be easily distracted and act on that distraction. They tend to do those things that feel good in the moment and put off things that aren’t pleasing in the moment. May say, “I can do this tomorrow and today I will do _____ instead.” Problem is tomorrow may never come. They don’t direct themselves to do that which isn’t interesting and instead direct themselves to do those things that are. The prioritize the more interesting vs the more important.
“Just being Lazy”
The most common reason I hear from my clients as to why they think that they procrastinate is that they say that they’re lazy. They say that these tasks are important to them and they know that they need to do a task, so when they don’t do the task, they often attribute the failure to being lazy. Procrastination is rarely the result of laziness.
Laziness is defined as not easily aroused to activity. When someone is doubting themselves and having a host of “what if” thoughts, it isn’t that they are not aroused to activity, in fact, their mind is very aroused. Instead the doubts and associated fear response results in too high an arousal state. In other words, a person “freaks out” and then doesn’t have the mental clarity or calmness to perform the task. Or if someone believes that there isn’t any purpose in the task or they lack a skill, it sure isn’t going to score high on the likely to get done scale.
When Procrastination is a Problem
To put things off isn’t by itself a problem. The problem comes when we have a goal to do something and then put something off. Say that the task that we want to get done is organize our garage and then keep it organized. Then we decide to dedicate a weekend to do so but instead we go out with friends or binge watch Netflix and the garage remains unorganized. This is a time when procrastination may become a problem.
The other ingredient for procrastination to be a problem is the importance of the goal. How big a deal is it to get the garage organized? We often rank the tasks by levels of importance and that is completely subjective. Someone who values cleanliness may rank the importance of cleaning the garage considerably higher than someone who thinks it would only be nice to have a nice clean garage.
When it comes to a problem, the person who values cleanliness and then procrastinates organizing the garage will likely have more problems with putting the task off as compared to the person who thinks it would be pleasant to have a clean garage.
Procrastination Solution
Since the reasons that we procrastinate varies, there really isn’t a one size fits all solution. First it may be helpful to know just how much we procrastinate and a screen may be helpful. To find out how much you procrastinate, take the Irrational Procrastination Scale here. It will give you an overall score.
“Tomorrow is my middle name”
If you are someone who procrastinates quite often there are things that you can do:
Step 1 – Identify those areas in your life you tend to procrastinate. Do you find any themes to when you procrastinate and when you complete tasks. Do you tend to let cleaning projects go or do you find that you let things go related to you but not other people? Do you circle back and then complete the tasks or when you put something off, it stays forever unfinished?
Step 2 – Now identify the goal that the procrastination is interfering with and also rank the importance of the goal. If the goal or the importance isn’t high, it is likely that the procrastination is a result of not finding the task that important. But if the goal and its importance are high, then read on.
Step 3 – Of the categories, which describes you? Are you “what iffing” or doom thinking? Do you believe that you don’t have the skills (confidence)? Are you over-booked because you put others wants ahead of your own? Do you hold a belief that you must be perfect and the thought of half-assing something causes you to become anxious? Or do you find that your impulsivity is higher than your reasoning skills?
When you identify the category of thoughts, it is helpful to begin to challenge those beliefs and learn to change them in ways that will be more useful to you. Want some help in that area?
Are you a chronic “what iffer?” Learn to overcome anxiety HERE.
Doom and gloom is your go to? Or do you think that you are lacking? Learn to overcome depression HERE.
Tend to get angry about having to do something you don’t want? Learn to overcome anger HERE
For the unconfident, people pleaser or the perfectionist, any of these courses will be quite helpful depending whether you tend to be anxious, down or angry about procrastination or the demands from other people on your time.
Step 4 – Once you have a goal that is important and you challenge and change the unhealthy thoughts that are between you and your goal, then you may find it much easier to do the tasks that you have been putting off. That is what I have found with the clients that I work with. When they clarify what is important and then change the way that they see the task, then they more naturally stop procrastinating.
In some cases, it does take other considerations such as acquiring a skill to do something, or time or help from other people. In those situations, resolving the barriers and acquiring the necessary skills to meet the goal must be considered in completing a task. For example, say someone wants to begin exercising but doesn’t know a thing about exercise may need to do research, talk with a medical provider or ask some experts before attempting to get started.
Step 5 – Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. Some of our goals may be quite large. For example if someone’s goal is to lose 50 lbs, it isn’t going to be accomplished quickly. Such big goals may take time and make small changes over longer periods of time.
If your goal is to lose weight and are find it challenging , this course may be helpful for you. This isn’t a diet plan per se, but a program that helps clarify goals, ways to meet goals, how to build confidence and willpower as you engage in a diet plan of your choosing. To learn more, click HERE.
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